Unjustified

It was a mess. 

In so many ways, and for so many reasons. 

What's clear about Justice League is how hard DC and WB are trying to compensate for what's come before, not only in the tonal shift, but in the problematic story-telling and character development that has so plagued the DCEU.

BvS's Batman was an unhinged killer, so they make repeated reference to him being old, jaded and crazy.

And he makes jokes.

Superman has been conflicted, dour and boring, so now, having died and been resurrected, he's lightened up. 

And he makes jokes. 

They even shoe-horn in an excuse for why Wonder Woman dropped off the map for a century, in one of the film's many exposition dumps. 

And she makes jokes. 

By the way, SPOILER ALERT: Superman's not dead. 

...gasp. 

Well, he was (despite the end of BvS clearly showing he wasn't), but the other heroes come up with a convoluted way to bring him back (or wake him up) using the film's MacGuffin...just so the bad guy could come in and nick it to set up the third act. 

The bad guy, incidentally, is...just the bad guy. Never heard of him, and no idea what his back story is. He's basically a CGI-rendered Ronan the Accuser with less depth. 

As for the rest of the cast, given the amount they have to do with such limited screen time, they're actually rather good. 

In fact, Ezra Miller is great as Barry Allen/The Flash: genuinely funny and charming; and I will give the film credit that it manages to strike a good balance between making him a lot more powerful than The Avengers' Quicksilver, yet restricted enough by his own neuroses and inexperience to avoid being as OP as X-Men's Quicksilver. He's also afforded the most organic back-story and character development of the new-comers (though that's not saying much). 

Jason Momoa has acres of screen-presence as Aquaman, but his development is no more interesting than, "I'm a loner and don't work with others... Okay, now I work with others" and his back-story is nothing more than a brief conversation between him and some random Atlantian woman who's supposed to be Mera - his wife from the comics - but is here given no name and only two lines of dialogue (one of which weirdly suggests they may be brother and sister). 

Finally, Ray Fisher does a decent job with Cyborg's internal conflict, but his "arc" is as abrupt as Aquaman's, and as convincing as the CGI used to render him. I.e. not. 

Side note: remember early in the third act of the Avengers, when the

heroes all gather for the first time in one awesome hero-shot?

This thing tries to do the same, FIVE TIMES!

And not one of those times works.

The story is all over the place: The world is apparently sad, and has gone to shit because Superman's died, despite the world in BvS being deeply divided over whether or not his presence was a good thing. Everyone harps on about him being a symbol of hope, which doesn't remotely gel with the attitudes of his previous two outings. 

There are also weird time and location skips, suggesting WB were far more concerned with getting it under two hours than with story flow. 

For example, the climax of one battle has the heroes clinging to a thing while water rushes up, threatening to drown them. The scene then immediately cuts to them all standing on dry land talking about what they're going to do next, as if the editor just had a stroke. 

In the first act, every scene shifts without natural transition, as if they're all isolated shorts clipped together at random: now we're in Gotham; now we're in Themyscira; now London; now Iceland; now Russia...maybe...? 

Even the score is messy. Gone are the Hans Zimmer BHWAAAARMMMs, here replaced with uplifting strings that sound a little too close to The Avengers' soundtrack. The Wonder Woman theme makes a brief reappearance, as does a bar or two from Tim Burton's Batman films (not too surprising given they brought Danny Elfman on to do the score). 

The thing is, with all that said, it's actually not terrible. It's not good, but it is watchable, sporadically entertaining and a damn sight better than three of the four films that have preceded it. Afleck's still good as Batman (in fact, better here than he was in BvS (at least he now has a personality)), Gadot's still awesome as Diana, Jeremy Irons is still an interesting Alfred, and Cavil is still...well, he looks the part. 

The characters and set-pieces are mostly entertaining, the script's mostly snappy, and it mostly isn't boring. I realise that's hardly a ringing endorsement, but what's most clear about this film is that it's damage control. Man of Steel was underwhelming, Batman v Superman was crap, and Suicide Squad was only marginally better on account of taking itself slightly less seriously. Unlike The Avengers, which was Marvel's self-congratulatory fireworks display to cap-off phase one, Justice League is a desperate attempt to end on a positive note. They know they're not going to impress anyone, so they just want to round things off in a not-awful fashion, in the hope attitudes are a little more positive when (if) they finally start their phase two.

Teetotality and Transitions both Terrible and Tremendous

By the balmy bloated ball-sack of Beelzebub, it's been warm!

Rather difficult to concentrate on any form of work or writing when the inescapable heat is causing one's head to throb like the temple vein of an anxiety sufferer caught stripping by their in-laws.

Fortunately, clouds have returned to our scorching British skies, so let's talk cinema.

Absolutely Fabulous (on the slim off-chance you don't know) was a truly inspired show of the nineties and naughties that saw Jennifer Saunders as Edi, a middle-aged woman-child, getting up to all kinds of slapstick debauchery with her best friend, Patsy; a drunken fag-hag and relentless cougar played to gut-busting perfection by Joanna Lumley.  At its best, it was awesome: slick, sharp, acerbic, well observed, geniusly performed by main and supporting cast alike, and with a hit-rate Morcombe & Wise would've been proud of.

Alas it does not translate to the big screen.

To be honest, the show has been flagging for years, since it ran its course over three or four series, before the set-up got tired and attempts to keep it fresh - mostly in the form of cameo-ridden specials - got desperate, but even the last brief TV run had its charm.  Unfortunately, it doesn't fit the feature-length format: the comic timing's off, set-ups are lazy, too obviously telegraphed and/or lacking in pay-off, the characters - always the driving force of the show - have become obnoxious to the point of being insufferable, and the only thing about the whole affair that works - and will always work - is Lumley (because, let's face it, how ever shoddy everything else might get, Patsy is one of the all-time great comedic creations, and will never cease to be magnificent).

Happily, something that did translate well to the big screen was The BFG!

The BFG was by no means the first of the 'spunky little orphan taken on a mystical adventure by a fantastical being' genre, but it remains one of the all-time greats and most beloved, so it was always going to be a risk.

Riskier still in the fact that not a lot happens in the story: it's essentially about the friendship of a little girl and an doddery old man, and what thrills there are mostly don't come until the very end.  As a book, this wasn't much of an issue due to the brilliance of Roald Dahl's writing: his wit and whimsy kept readers hooked, regardless of what was (or wasn't) happening, and managed to be perfect for a pre-teen audience, without ever being patronising to older readers.

Without this luxury on film, even a colourful whimsical setting, and the presence of giants, will only get you so far.  A slow-burn character piece - regardless of setting - must be carried entirely by the cast: in this case, Mark Rylance - seasoned veteran of stage and screen - and Ruby Barnhill - a twelve year-old girl.

Even as a Shakespeare vet., Rylance can't have had an easy time of it, not only having to spend much of his time reacting to nothing but a ball on a stick, but having to deliver an almost alien language and speech pattern as if he'd been using it for millennia.  And it would have been all for nought, of course, if he'd been playing against a bland, obnoxious and/or unconvincing Sophie.

Fortunately, they are both superb; with Rylnace both funny and forlorn; wise, yet oblivious; and Barnhill mixing child-like wonder with a far-beyond-her-years maturity that at no point felt fake or forced.

Couple that with some seamless CGI, an entertaining and colourful supporting cast and Steven Spielberg bringing his '80's A-game, and you get something that had Rhiannon - a devotee of the story in her youth - weeping tears of joy for the best part of two hours.

In other movie news, DC have released a couple of trailers, and, boy, has the reaction to the miserable dross they vomited up a few months back put the shits up them!

First, Wonder Woman:


Along with Batfleck, Gal Gadot was one of the pleasant surprises of BvS.  When she was cast, all I'd seen her in was the Fast and Furious films, where she appeared to lack the muscle mass to lift a tooth-pick.  For her to not only turn up in BvS looking the part, but be the only one of the 'holy trinity' to show some balls against the Incredible Doom Troll was almost as welcome a surprise as the former Mr. JLo's turn as Bruce Wayne.

Her solo outing - by evidence of the trailer, at least - looks to build on the badassery, not just in terms of kicking arse, but in the character's attitude and the way she caries herself.

My one concern is how long that final moment with the secretary is drawn out, but I'll get to that in a sec...


I will say from the off that, yes, this does look better than Dawn of Justice - the new Flash is funny, Mamoa looks like an interesting Aquaman, and DK appears to be less of a right-wing douche - but I have some serious concerns about this 'footage'.

The first is the same concern I have with Suicide Squad:


Who are these people?

Okay, I know who they all are, and anyone who doesn't can look them up on Wikipedia, but this is the first cinematic outing for most of these characters, and brand new interpretations of others, yet we're supposed to care about a history that will likely be dumped on us in exposition.

Whether it be Flash and Cyborg, or Killer Croc and Captain Boomerang, we're being shown these characters for the very first time (BvS's bullshit flash-drive preview does not count) and are expected to give a rat's hairy left bollock about their thoughts, feelings and motivations.

My other concern is the same I have with the end of the Wonder Woman trailer: there is an emphasis on humour (yes, there is in the Suicide Squad trailer, too, but at least there it doesn't feel out of place).

Don't get me wrong, after the previous two outings, this series is clamouring for some levity, but there's a desperation in how hard they're pushing it here, as if WB, in their typical accountancy approach, has looked at Rotten Tomatoes and said:

"Jokes!  We need more jokes!"
"How many more jokes?"
"Well, we're averaging 46%, so 54% more jokes!"

It reminds me of Microsoft's furious back-peddling following their horrific pre-release promotion of the Xbone.

Again, the trailers don't look bad, I just have concerns about WB trying too hard and heading too far the other way.

In other non-movie news, I'm off the booze for a while.  It's been apparent for some time that I drink too regularly, but I generally don't binge.  On Saturday, however, I purposefully only wanted to have a few, but then mixed that with too much wine, and realised afterwards that I am rubbish at restraining myself after a certain point (you can see it in my gut).  So, I'm giving it a rest for a while.

Until Halloween, in fact (save for a friend's birthday in September).

Wish me luck!

(I'm gonna need it)